she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
