"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
