I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
