areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
