it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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