Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
