I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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