If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
