But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
