I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
