I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
