does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
be right there i have to get my cape
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
