if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
