I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
