I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
