I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
