birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
