I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
