Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My dick has a subreddit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
