apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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