im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
