Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
