Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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