the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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