Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
