I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Still dying that you shit outside
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
