3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
