I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize