you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
