is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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