i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
