in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
