she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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