Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
