Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
