Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
