Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
