but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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