Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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