From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is Oprah even human
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
