so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
