I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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