and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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