If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize