shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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