another moral hangover. fuck.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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