That's intense
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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