I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize