I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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