I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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