I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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