It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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