i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
