This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
