It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
