Apparently you make a good broom.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
