Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Randomize
