gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my sisters under your porch take her home
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
