): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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