I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
