I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
