Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
