ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
