if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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